Hey!
I'M Dr. Rob
I am happy you're here. I have dedicated my entire career to the pursuit of wellness, with an emphasis on human development and mental health. I have had the privilege of co-founding a nationally known behavioral health organization and being the lead developer of their proprietary clinical approach to treatment. It has been an honor to become a nationally known speaker and trainer in the area of interpersonal relationships, the neurobiological science of development, the treatment of trauma, and attachment. My personal purpose is to maximize life's fulfillment and meaning through optimized health, which has led me to build a therapeutic private practice and become a founder of the Relational Mastery Institute (RMI). My interests and pursuits in mental and behavioral health have led me to provide education and experience on integrative health and the essentialness of healthy relationships in achieving meaning and fulfillment.
My Story
"Suffering is what elevates knowledge to wisdom" has been my life's quote for many years. It has provided me with a sense of meaning in enduring many forms of suffering, due to the opportunity it provides to enhance empathy, trust, and compassion within healthy relationships, also known as wisdom. I can recall a continual enjoyment of learning and gaining of knowledge from an early age with an immense curiosity about how relationships work. Growing up in a Southern California beach town allowed me to experience and learn about the ocean, myself, my abilities, my aptitudes, perceived deficits, and relationships. Though I had many of life's challenges with personal insecurity, parental issues, events of grief and loss, and normal developmental accomplishments and difficulties, I've always had a sense of gratitude for where we lived and the opportunities I had growing up.
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The 80's and 90's where a time before cell phones and continual communication with parents. I rode my bike to school and the beach and would call my mom at her office in the afternoon to let her know I was okay. There was so much independence, freedom, and a sense of safety. As a preteen and teen, I can recall becoming highly focused on activities and getting immersed in knowing everything about that topic. Surfing and dirt bikes became the focus and because I had so much access to the beach (and well know surf breaks), surfing became conduit for my sense of self, social relationships, cultural belonging, and a distraction from school and academics. Only now can I admit without a huge sense of shame that I barely graduated from high school due to truancy because I experienced more engagement and reward from being at the beach than I did school. I knew that I had ability and aptitude but was one of those young people that didn't know how to harness it and experience all the expected successes (i.e. academics) society had established.
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I felt a ton of failure, insecurity, and doubt about myself which was enhanced by extremely intense emotions experienced in early romantic relationships and my parents getting a divorce. I found some success in working with my hands and learning some skilled trades yet felt incomplete. My parents were always supportive of college and was able to make up for my academic deficits and eventually graduate from an amazing university where I established lifelong friendships, and a relationship with my wife of now 27 years. College taught me that curiosity and intense searching for answers is necessary for me, and I needed to find a pathway to my own personal fulfillment.
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I have been on that path ever since and am indebted to my parents, friends, and family for their support which had led me to complete a Masters degree in psychology and become a psychotherapist. The process of graduate school, developing as a psychotherapist, and building a mental health organization allowed me to accept my deep longing to understand and experience meaningful relationships. I have been fortunate to harness my strengths, doubts, insecurities, curiosity, and desire to understand and complete a PhD in psychology with an emphasis on the science of interpersonal relationships on development. My story and journey have evolved my purpose and the founding of Relational Mastery Institute. I now can identify that there is meaning in suffering and all the knowledge I have, and desire is not the goal, but rather it needs to enhance and elevate my ability to be WISE in relationship (wisdom). As I continue to discover myself, my creativity, and my ability to help others, I am compelled to give others the experiences and education to discover themselves, their creativity, and purpose.
Welcome to the community of RMI!